It was never my goal to be a Trophy Wife

coffee turns me on cup

This morning I was deep in thought… okay, more a state of comatose-ness. While pouring my first cup of coffee I suddenly thought, “Gosh… this coffee was ready and waiting for me when I padded down the hallway rubbing sleep out of my eyes.”

Mr.P the early riser has been a faithful morning coffee pot filler for the last two months. I WIN!

patio. October 1

As that first cup of coffee kicked in I noticed the sun streaming through the tree branches. It was just Thursday afternoon when I was sitting out on the patio in the early fall sunshine, feet up and reading. Yard work was done, fence fixed with no chores desperately calling my name.

Mr.P came to the screen door and looked out at me. A few minutes later he set a cold drink beside me and walked back in the house. I WIN… AGAIN!

1969 pig trophy

It’s been 46 years since the two of us tied the proverbial knot and started blending our lives. I unpacked my hopes and dreams. He unpacked his ‘pig trophy’. I cringed. He was proud.

Through the years of continual adjustment, shifting, disagreements, and every day life I have finally figured it out…

Being a trophy wife is not about being young or attractive. It’s not a status symbol. And it has nothing to do with being monetarily rich. These are all the worlds definition and none of it fits my life scenario. I’ve been receiving gifts money can’t buy…

I’ve been gifted with TIME in our relationship that has been growing through our many stages of life… It’s the little things we do for each other that are so easy to miss. A door held open, the dishes put away even if you can’t find them later or the toilet paper roll replaced. They all add up to BIG love.

A trophy is a symbol of achievement.

It’s been awhile, but now, even I am proud of that silly pig trophy…


never get tired of doing little things



6 thoughts on “It was never my goal to be a Trophy Wife

  1. Quite a few years ago someone introduced me to the 5 “love lanuages”, or the 5 different ways people express their love & appreciation. It really helped me appreciate my husband whose primary “language” is doing things for me. My langauge is words with the second being time together. Touch and gifts are other 2. Touch is my third and his fifth! So I love him when he does the laundry and I don’t expect a hug when I come home. And I know that all means I too have won. Sorry, but all his trophies are in a box in the basement! I’m not sure there is a pig one, but the box has been sealed and moved 3 times in 25 years together!

    • Pat… I have The Five Languages of Love also. Excellent insights into relationships and people. Married or not.

      I really think it takes time in a relationship (and everyday life) to block out what he world tells us is valuable and replace it with the value of a relationship. Anything that grows takes time.

      • We were required to read The Five Love Languages for our premarital counseling . . . married 17 yrs in August despite getting married at 18, so I guess it helped! I’ve also reviewed the love languages with my middle school classes and it was amazing to see the light bulbs going off in some of my students. One told me they never felt loved by their mom, even though she buys her stuff all the time, and now she knows because her love language is quality time so she always thought her mom was just trying to buy her love. Should be required reading for every parent and spouse!

      • Hi Jamie!
        Having students read 5 Languages is an excellent idea. My s-i-l (Mr.P’s side)gave every couple in the family (11) the book for Christmas one year. Said as she was walking down aisle in B&N the book fell at her feet for no reason. She took it as a sign. 🙂 Don’t know if it was or not but I enjoyed it… Maybe worth a reread all these years later.

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