Dr. Oz and my Love~Hate Relationship

Dr. Oz in scrubsDr. Oz  was in Portland the other day giving free check-ups. 500 people showed up at the OHSU – Oregon Health & Science University for the opportunity to receive a medical check along with the possibility of meeting Dr. Oz.

The activities were covered throughout the day by our local ABC affiliate station, KATU. Which around here is commonly refered to as K2. (Not to be confused with the K2 brand of skis and snowboards.) This is our channel which airs The Doctor Oz Show.

I can break down my feelings for the doctor into these two categories…

LOVE… His up-beat honesty and enthusiasm as he explains how I can improve every aspect of my life by simply making a few changes here and there in order to care for my whole body.

HATE… His brutally up-beat honesty and enthusiasm in which he explains how the life style I’ve chosen (sloth and lethargy) is killing me.

As the day went on, each time I looked at the television there was yet another news anchor or reporter from K2 taking a turn getting a finger pricked, blood pressure taken or talking to the ever smiling doctor.

At one point we were given the formula to one of our most important measurements. That’s right, our waistlines. Told you he was brutal. It’s really quite easy. Measure your waist around your belly button. It should be one half or less your total inches of height.

Example: Milly is two feet tall which equals 24 inches. Half of that is 12 inches. Therefore Milly’s waist should be 12 inches or less. I can do this math because there are no trains leaving any stations.

At this point news anchor Deb Knapp fretted over having her waist measured on television. “How embarrassing” she uttered. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes… Really? She looks skinny to me.

Fair enough. If Deb can do it, on television no less, I can grit my teeth and do this in the privacy of my own home. Out came the tape measure and I went in search of my elusive waistline.

So…now I know, I need to lose somewhere around eighteen inches of extra middle… or grow to a little over seven feet tall. I really don’t see either happening. I know the Doc is looking out for my best interest here but he has no idea how much stress I’m under. And now I feel a growing case of depression coming on.

Later there was to be a news conference to sum up the findings on the health of our area… While curled up in the corner eating ice cream, I missed it.

BTW: Deb… a 28″ waist? My thighs would rejoice to be so small.

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11 thoughts on “Dr. Oz and my Love~Hate Relationship

  1. OMG! When oh when oh when am I going to learn to NEVER read these while drinking my morning cup of coffee?? Now that I’ve changed shirts, cleaned the laughter-spewed coffee off the keyboard, desktop and monitor screen–may I just say that you made me feel a lot better this morning? Seriously, Sis–I will be reading this on and off through out the day. I love you.

  2. I guess Oz never had babies to stretch out his belly muscles. I may be skinny, but according to that ridiculous formula, I need to work off seven inches. Sure I’d love to, but no I can’t. That would require exercising my body into pain and starving my self to death. Okay tummy, looks like you’re here to stay. Pass me the ice cream, please.

    • See what I mean… only someone dastardly wicked, yet trying to save us, would ask that something so delicious be given up.

      I don’t believe in going cold turkey… Possibly sharing one could be excellent solution? 😉

  3. Since you are following my WordPress blog, I thought I look in on you. A wonderfully written blog dealing with emotional issues we all are dealing with. Thank you for sharing this with your WordPress family. Blessings in your individual journey. My orders: Now do not get depressed under any circumstances….you are loved and needed like you are!
    John

  4. Oh, this is so funny and so true.
    By setting unrealistic standards for our bodies, we lose out on the potential benefits of the small changes we can make to improve our health.
    Because, realistically, is life worth living without ice cream?
    I think not!

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