A quick rant about manners…

… so I can leave the grumpy behind. Don’t want a snarky attitude to spoil my day. Not my attitude, I’m fine. It’s other people who have a problem. What happened is actually quite minor when paired with the world’s problems. But just maybe this is the basis of many other problems… worldly and personal.

I’m talking about people’s manners…or lack of them. I was raised… not just left to grow up, but raised and instructed… to use my manners, daily and to everyone. Okay, that’s my background so therefore my standard on which I judge everyone else in the world.

So my world happened to be leaving the sandwich shop. Which in itself is not in itself an ‘oh my stars’ situation. (None of this is.) I opened the door to leave and while standing in the cold and windy rain, chose to hold the door open for some people arriving. I smiled while doing what came naturally to me. It should have been a ships passing in the night moment, but this is where I got caught.

There was no smile in return… in fact, they stood there in the open doorway waiting for the rest of their group farther down the sidewalk. I had become the personal door-person for this group of younger folks.

I stood getting wetter and colder waiting for someone…anyone…to take over holding the door. But that didn’t happen. Not one person thought that maybe they should take over the holding of their own door. And not being a person to just let go allowing the possibly of someone getting hurt, I stayed.

The last of the group made it through. I was wet, cold and miffed. My presence received no acknowledgement. The collective rudeness put me in a bad mood.

How hard is it to flash a smile or utter a little thank you. It would have made all the difference in the world… at least in my world where I want people to treat each other better.

I told you this wasn’t an earth shattering rant… just important on the being human side of life. Here’s to a day is full of returned smiles.

happy cup



3 thoughts on “A quick rant about manners…

  1. Manners vary in different cultures, so IMO this is not about manners.

    Acknowledging human kindness is a universal. Some cultures may not have a phrase the equivalent of “thank you” (eg Cree) but a smile or some physical response for an act of kindness is fundamental.

    The shocking disconnect you experienced is no small thing. It says “people who are not members of my group are invisible to me.”

    If the group involved had been in the middle of some intense conversation, It might be possible their minds were so occupied they couldn’t see outside their circle.

    Otherwise inexcusable and offensive. Valid rant, my friend!

  2. Wow. I’ve experienced situations like that too. Rudeness is pretty typical in LA.

    However, most people do say thank you or acknowledge your kindness in some way.

    I also believe your courtesy goes a long way even if the kindness you offered wasn’t acknowledged by the recipients.


  3. It seems like some young people think that we older people were created to serve them. The fact that they didn’t connect to you as a human being, and notice your kindness, is frightening. Perhaps if you were a video game character you would have received proper acknowledgement.

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